Playful Performance

My Mother Told Me….Text

In the last nine months have you:

  • (FAYE) Cried because you couldn’t fit into an old pair of jeans?
  • (CHLOE) Resented the fact that you couldn’t eat brie?
  • (FAYE) Been seriously concerned by your new-found emotional connection with babies, pictured in magazines?
  • (CHLOE) Frequently been surprised by intelligent friends’ drunken stupidity?
  • (FAYE) Regretted the wasted opportunities, when you too could be drunkenly stupid?
  • (CHLOE) Finally, from 1 to 5 with 5 being ‘extremely’ how would you describe your fear of gaining stretch marks?

Tea is an Evening Meal….Text

Breakfast, Dinner, Tea

Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner

Breakfast, Brunch, Lunch, Dinner

Breakfast, Brunch, Lunch, Tea, Dinner

Breakfast, Brunch, Lunch, Tea, Dinner, Supper

Breakfast, Dinner, Tea, Supper….that’s what I had. And supper was my favourite meal, well it wasn’t really a meal more of a snack. Usually a nice helping of sweets or chocolate serve in a small silver shining ‘occasional’ bowl at bedtime. As far as I can remember, that bowl was only ever used to contain my supper or the sauce my Mum made for parties out of mayo and tomato ketchup to pour over cold boiled eggs that has been sliced in half length ways. I remember my supper being dolly mixers (that I was never that keen on), flying saucers (which were my faves) and chocolate covered raisins that my Mum probably bought thinking they were a health alterative!  Yes, in my house it was fine to give the kids a load of “E” numbers at bedtime. And these sweet delights would be washed down with a strong glass of Vimto.

My sister sometimes had milk which I thought was weird, as a child as I understood it as a substance that made your cereals wet not as an independent drink. The only kid I knew who drank milk with enthusiasm was the lad off the Accrington Stanley advert. When we received our free lukewarm milk at morning break time the lads in my class at primary school would imitate that advert in their best Scouse accents. “Who are they? Exactly!”

I know supper is not a bowl of sweets eaten in your pj’s at bedtime to everyone. For some people it is their evening meal. I decided that if supper is your evening meal it must be something hearty, something proper and probably something English. Ideally it should have been cooked in an Aga. Salad can not be supper.